Have you ever had them? Prednisone nightmares?
Out of control, cartoonish movies of your life as you boogie down the street under the influence of the evil drug P. Or how about a tall Gollum-like creature that oozes putrid smelling slime, who you push away at the same time that you somehow see something of redeeming value in this foul creature?
One of my monsters is a police officer with a nice enough face, kind of a fu-mancho mustache/beard, but he is as wide as he is tall. Can't accept that. Monster!
They are all you in these nightmares. You - fighting yourself. You- not accepting that even this monster is you. You have to learn to love this part of you. This part of yourself that you see as a monster.
But how can you love a monster ? One that has stolen everything of meaning to you. How can you learn to love the stranger you have become too soon?
P is the enemy. P has always been the enemy. Beware fellow Lupines, beware ever taking evil drug P.
As I enter into my third week of hell under P (by order of the grand poo pah doctor), I relinquish all illusions of control, and trudge valiantly onward into the land of unknowns; I hold tightly to the wise words of someone, this too shall pass, or is it, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Either one will do at this time.
Wish me a safe and speedy return.